nutella sex= disaster
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
