So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
