I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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