Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize