just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize