All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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