when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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