am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
