shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
