First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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