I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
