Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
