I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
