Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
