There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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