I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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