Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
