My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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