u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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