I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
