apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
