I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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