their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
