Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
