my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize