You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
