Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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