you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize