Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
