Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize