i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
