also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
