In the future we'll all be gay
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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