He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize