Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
