when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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