I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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