I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
