Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
