So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
NoShamevember. You game?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
