Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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