he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
