you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
