please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
