I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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