Plan B is the new Plan A
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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