he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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