she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize