well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Randomize
