dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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