I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This house was built for laser tag.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
