Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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