i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
They have beer where we have blood.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
