her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
