Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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