im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
