he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize