Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
