I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
and i looked up. we had an audience...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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