i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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