So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
