I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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