Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How external is "for external use only"?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Come share oat with me in your robe
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
