i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
