OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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